Fairies, Pixies and Elves

Am so very busy since my last post. Hardly time for me to take a break, even at night, to update my blog. Got to wait till later...

So now... I am just taking a few minutes of my very packed schedule (its lunch hour at work now) to linger on things that I have been doing when I was a child. I used to day dream a lot. All about little fairies flying in my garden, of elves playing hide and seek among the stems of the flowers and plants and of pixies peeping from behind the stalks of other plants.

There were also little people, gnomes, thumbelina, peter pan, here and there among the daisies, canna lilies and sunflowers. How real it was in my thoughts then, and now... Theres Alice in Wonderland, and the clever Puss the cat and all... How real, how serene and how free life is ... was so happy, no worries, all fun and laughter!

O how I wish I am back to that young age, full of vivid imagination... and not many tasks to accomplish and deadlines to meet. Life is so wonderful then, without feeling stressed at all.... and all of a sudden I am humming this song by Richard Sanderson ..."Dreams are my reality, a wonderous world I longed to be..." hmmmm...

Kalambicara is about to quit to search for more fairies... am stopping bicara now.

Preoccupied Weekend

I was fully occupied during the weekend, yesterday and day before. In fact my weekend activities started last Friday night itself.

Back from work, I arrived home at about 8.00pm and freshened up a little bit, then out we (my sister and I) went to Giant Bandar Puteri for our monthly grocery shopping. It was quite a late do for this month as I was quite busy with office work and attending to training here and there. So, most of the supplies were really out at home and the Chef aka Home Guardian Angel (my mum, of course) almost gave up doing her daily chores.

Saturday morning by 8.00 am I was already at the Toyota Service Centre in PJ for the routine car service and spent time until 3.00pm. Not a major service but the queue was terrible, though we had booked two weeks in advance. Maybe its because of school holidays and parents sent cars for servicing, with plans to travel comfortably taking their children to various holiday destinations...maybe.

Then we had guests at 4.00pm, my auntie and her children and at night, also we had guests, an uncle and his wife. Thank God my mum who is always on the alert for walk-in guests had earlier prepared spaghetti and mee curry. So, there was not a problem of what to serve our guests. And there goes my Saturday, waiting and reading at the service centre and entertaining to relatives at home.

Come Sunday, I had a pre-planned acttivity. I had registered myself to the Bakersguide Baking Class in my housing estate and the class started at 9.00am. So, another day of my weekend unable to continue my usual weekend favourites; lazing on bed, reading a novel, fall asleep again, wake up, grab the book, read again.. and the cycle goes on. No, no, not the last weekend.

I arrived at Bakersguide 15 minutes late and the class has not started yet. It was kind of the Chef to wait for me..hu hu.. Well, actually I am the ardent buyer of their baking ingredients and always frequent the shop for my baking needs. He knew me and thats the reason for the wait. Sorry classmates.

Today, I learnt to make bread. I have made bread before a few times. White bread, raisins plaited bread, sweet buns, etc. But that was through my own method merely based on the instructions in the recipes. Chef Eric taught us the proper bread making. And my, it was actually a bit tedious and all had to be done in a systematic way, step-by-step. I almost lost my patience. Chef Eric said, breadmaking will teach you to be patient and gentle. Hah! Me? Patient and gentle! I almost laughed myself out loud. But I controlled then. For those who knew me will know that I am someone who speak fast, walk fast,and a bit far from being gentle in action (though I am gentle when comes to matters of the heart).

Thus, in the class, during the hands-on session, I was asked to slow down a few times by Chef Eric. he he Sorry Chef... I was just 'tak sabar' to see things done the way a slow-motion picture is played. But I did as told by Chef Eric. It gives me a kind of feeling, a sense of power controlling, learning to hold back and concentrate on the task (of kneading and rolling and brushing the egg wash, etc). It was really fun. Bread making did provide a kind of pleasure and satisfaction. Indeed, when moulding the dough, I felt like I am actually moulding me and my self esteem! (and no, I am not crazy, still in sanity!) And frankly, I do like that kind of feeling that was sipped in my body, slow and steady. Not the usual 'adrenalin rush' feeling that was always in sync with me and my body and soul whenever I am in tasks.

The physical end result of the lesson learnt from the breadmaking class today which ended at 3.00pm were the Chocolate Chips Bun, Kaya Bun, Sausage Bun, Red Bean Bun, Chicken Floss Bun, Tuna Bun and Cheese Stick. All the sweet bun family from the same master recipe and dough. Heres the photo of what I (yes, my own fruit of labour!) made today at Bakersguide. It looked exactly like the ones on display at the bakery. Honestly, I swear to God, I did made those myself, with my own bare hands! My siblings jokingly said that I bought them to bring home. They always bullied me... pity, pity me!

Though my weekend was packed with activities, I am truly contented. Satisfied. No regrets for leaving the bed earlier...

Kalambicara is missing the bed now... am heading to it as fast as I can!

Melayu

As a sequel from yesterday's posting... Also, to ponder on today's incident proudly made famous and historical by the 'yellow team' (definitely not DIGI!), my plea to the Malay readers of my blog, let us relook at this poem by our country's great Poet/Writer Dato' Usman Awang. Then on, make your stand, where are we heading? Tepuk dada, tanya selera.

Melayu

Melayu itu orang yang bijaksana
Nakalnya bersulam jenaka
Budi bahasanya tidak terkira
Kurang ajarnya tetap santun
Jika menipu pun masih bersopan
Bila mengampu bijak beralas tangan

Melayu itu berani jika bersalah
Kecut takut kerana benar
Janji simpan di perut
Selalu pecah di mulut
Biar mati adat
Jangan mati anak

Dalam sejarahnya
Melayu itu pengembara lautan
Melorongkan jalur sejarah zaman
Begitu luas daerah sempadan
Sayangnya kini segala kehilangan

Melayu itu kaya falsafahnya
Kias kata bidal pusaka
Akar budi bersulamkan daya
Gedung akal laut bicara

Malangnya Melayu itu kuat bersorak
Terlalu ghairah pesta temasya
Sedangkan kampung telah tergadai
Sawah sejalur tinggal sejengkal
Tanah sebidang mudah terjual

Meski telah memiliki telaga
Tangan masih memegang tali
Sedang orang mencapai timba
Berbuahlah pisang tiga kali
Melayu itu masih bermimpi

Walaupun sudah mengenal universiti
Masih berdagang di rumah sendiri
Berkelahi cara Melayu
Menikam dengan pantun
Menyanggah dengan senyum
Marahnya dengan diam
Merendah bukan menyembah
Meninggi bukan melonjak

Watak Melayu menolak permusuhan
Setia dan sabar tiada sempadan
Tapi jika marah tak nampak telinga
Musuh dicari ke lubang cacing
Tak dapat tanduk telinga dijinjing
Maruah dan agama dihina jangan
Hebat amuknya tak kenal lawan

Berdamai cara Melayu indah sekali
Silaturrahim hati yang murni
Maaf diungkap senantiasa bersahut
Tangan diulur sentiasa bersambut
Luka pun tidak lagi berparut

Baiknya hati Melayu itu tak terbandingkan
Selaga yang ada sanggup diberikan
Sehingga tercipta sebuah kiasan:
“Dagang lalu nasi ditanakkan
Suami pulang lapar tak makan
Kera di hutan disusu-susukan
Anak di pangkuan mati kebuluran”

Bagaimanakah Melayu abad dua puluh satu
Masihkan tunduk tersipu-sipu ?
Jangan takut melanggar pantang
Jika pantang menghalang kemajuan;
Jangan segan menentang larangan
Jika yakin kepada kebenaran;
Jangan malu mengucapkan keyakinan
Jika percaya kepada keadilan

Jadilah bangsa yang bijaksana
Memegang tali memegang timba
Memiliki ekonomi mencipta budaya
Menjadi tuan di negara Merdeka!

Truly I am speechless. The second last para is something that I really like. It matches me and my principles. What say you? One thing I know for sure is that I am a true Malay (though my late grandfather is a Chinese). I actually think more in English and most of the time speaks English! What?! Its not wrong, right? Its just language preference... and my upbringing... and my education... and my .... arrrrhhhhhh! Let it be... I am me.

Finally, I'd like to recall the famous phrase of our great Malay warrior, Hang Tuah... Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia... Yes, if we are all united and not separated...by beliefs, by ideologies, etc. etc. We should be ONE. We must be ONE. Revive the true spirit of the 'perjuangan kemerdekaan' by our forefathers. Everything must be fair! Everything must be clean! Tak perlu bermuka-muka. Melayu kini sudah berbeza. Melayu kini berfikiran terbuka. Demi generasi muda! Demi negara tercinta!

Kalambicara suddenly feels so patriotic...and am marching out now!

Politics

According to the Wikipedia, Politics is the process by which groups of people make decisions. Although the term is generally applied to behaviour within civil governments, politics is observed in all human group interactions, including corporate, academic, and religious institutions. Politics consists of "social relations involving authority or power" and refers to the regulation of a political unit, and to the methods and tactics used to formulate and apply policy.

The 2007 UMNO General Assembly ended today with a few resolutions whatsoever. Somehow or rather, some of the policies and resolutions did not impress me at all. Especially the one voiced by the Puteri Chief, Noraini Ahmad. Quite frustrated with this kind of thinking from our so called leaders and politicians. It made me worried of the future of my nieces and nephews. Not going to ramble further on this, else I'll vomit unnecessarily. Afterall, those great bloggers like Marina, Rocky and Nuraina had said enough. What interests me most is the sincerity and honesty of the attendees, in the course of a better future for the Malay generations and for the true love to the country. I doubt that so much.

Been there and was at our organisation's booth and the secretariat's room, trying our best to educate the public (UMNO participants/observers/general public), I was kind of amazed at what I saw and heard. Almost everyone had an agenda by being there!

Seriously. I experienced that with many who stopped at our booth. There I was trying to bring their attention to safe internet usage, awareness on information security on the net, bla bla bla... And guess what, with the brochures that I passed to them after explanation, the questions that they asked were who was the printer who did all your brochures? How can I be the printer for your organisation? Can you get me your CEO I want to talk to him to take me as your panel of suppliers... Can you give me a chance to provide my service to your organisation... and the list of questions of that kind went on and on... different people but asking almost similar questions.

Come on, you came here for the assembly and yet with full purpose... to get something as well eh? Despite reasons provided by my colleagues and me, many were still adamant with their plea of getting certain projects etc. Main justification given was that a Malay got to help another Malay.

Huh! If this is the reality, this is the fact, I am so damned worry about the future of our children. Till the end of the assembly, no one really interested in what we are actually doing for the nation. Instead, they are more interested in our giveaways such as paperbags, mouse pads, pens and various other collaterals, when in actual fact, that was the best avenue to channel the awareness on safe internet usage that we were trying very hard to educate the masses.

Actually all these are nothing new to me. I've heard about these kind of incidences almost every year from my journalist friends, only now am I experiencing them myself. Not going go prolong this issue, letih laaa...

Another interesting observation that I enjoyed while at PWTC was the dressings/fashion style of the ladies, especially the 'pink ladies'. Gosh! Were they here to catch big fish as well? They really dressed to kill. One in particular who walked passed our booth and caught our attention was this one 'pink lady' who wore white transparent baju kurong and pink sarong... normal right, but what about the pink bra?! Purposely chose transparent white kurong merely to highlight her obviously pink bra merely to stress that she belongs to the 'pink ladies' group! If a lady like me looked at her not once, not twice, not thrice, but more... what about the men? We all have eyes and eyes are meant to see. Please O God please, for the sake of the party and for the sake of the Malays... don't let these 'blondes' in pink jeopardize the state of mind and well being of our future leaders!

I rest my case. Till the next UMNO GA...

Kalambicara is really embarassed, and is blushing pink! Stop bicara now...

Gerimis Di Hati

Still my mind is a bit affected by yesterday's incident. And, all of a sudden this Sudirman's song is playing in my head... soft and sad...yet soothing and calming...

Gerimis di lautan
Mendayung sampan ke kuala
Pada rang bulan pungguk merayu

Menangis kesiangan
Menanggung rindu pada si dia
Apakan daya orang tak mahu

Apalah guna ke bendang
Padi seberang takkan menjadi
Apalah kasihnya orang
Kasihnya orang orang tak sudi

Gerimis di lautan
Ku ubati lukaku sendiri
Namun parutnya terpandang jua

Oh biarlah ku sendiri
Oh tinggallah ku kan pergi
Oh biarlah
Oh tinggallah

And now, I am feeling so alone and in dire need of a shoulder to cry on... hmmmm ... Frankly, I hate it when this type of feelings come into me. This is so not me! Is it the weather or what?! Yucks! Yucks! Yuckie...! And what the heck of connection is this lyric with my upsetness of yesterday's event eh? Oh my, am I going bonkers? Really got to go.

Btw, thanks to the anonymous who commented my post yesterday. Simple, yet consoling. You made my day!

Kalambicara is retiring for the nite...will stop bicara now.

Liar! Liar!

For the first time since I joined this organisation, I threw my tantrum far out loud today! Someone has the guts to lie straight on my face, in front of my COO. How dare you Mr T!!! !@#$%^&* !!!

It all happened when I was asked in the last minute, to represent my boss, for a meeting on the office renovation. Our department will be relocated to a different floor. In the meeting, we were shown the layout of the new area by the to-be-awarded Interior Decorator.

Looking at my department's new area, I was almost fainted. There was no room for the storage of our corporate collaterals. We have aplenty. Now occupying almost a whole of the room temporarily given for our use by the Admin Dept. I questioned Mr T on a few matters, why is there a reception counter, who will man there, why are there three sofa sets, where is our dry pantry, where is our store room, filing cabinets, etc, etc...

The answer given was that this meeting is not to change the layout whatsoever, but to decide on the type of carpet tiles, wallpaper colour, colour of sofa sets, the colour of the partition for the cluster of workstations and the type of wood finishing for the reception counter???

Hellooooooo!!! You see, we are the one who will be occupying that area, don't we allow to say something. We only met once, almost three months ago, during site visit of the new area, how come, now that you are saying its now final, just choose the fabric! Mr T kept saying that the committee has decided bla bla bla... what committee? who? At first I was upset thinking that my boss did not update me and my colleague, but I was wrong. My boss was not in the know as well. (Hmmmm... talk about SOP here!)

Well, to make the story short, we brought the matter to the attention of the COO. And believe it or not, this great Mr T can say differently. "Jangan tergesa-gesa buat conclusion. Benda ni boleh ubah lagi. Bukan final lagi." Eh, come on who was it in the first place that said that its final, we are about to award now, BQ has been completed, should there be changes or re-renovation, we do it some other time?" Wasn't it you. I made a note in my meeting book of that statement. I have proof of what you said in the meeting yesterday... my witnesses too are happy to provide any testimony if needed...

Hmmmm.... in front of the COO, HE SAID IT DIFFERENTLY! Though I have a few witnesses who actually heard what Mr T said earlier, I feel that its stupid of me to further continue my arguments with him. Suddenly I remembered what my late father said that it'll make you stupid if you argue with a stupid person. There, I am calling him stupid liar now! I am truly pissed of with him. Will never forget what he said and the way he said it, in front of the COO. I have more experience than him, and higher in education than him, though he made me look stupid, he is a zillion more stupid than me. Stupid cupid!

I did cry myself out of anger (thats the normal me lah) after that heated argument. I also made a vow. I will not deal with Mr T at all. My colleague will handle the procurement matter of our deparment. I had explained clearly to his superior. She understood me well and will slow talk to him... ya right... wonder stupid person like him is deaf and dumb too. Huh! I will not tolerate with him at all from now on. I will ignore him. I will definitely not respect him at all. I will never smile at him. I will not talk to him at all. That is my principle when facing with a liar like this. Watch out man, don't ever expect anything from me anymore from now on. Thats my vow. Thats my promise and I am so into it. Neither will I forgive, nor will I forget! I am a lady of principle. (Refer to my first blog - The First One)

Mr T is a Liar!

Liar! Liar! Liar!

May your pants be on fire!

Pants on fire! Pants on fire!

Kalambicara is quiting bicara now... am not lying! Really quit...for the time being.

Destressing Oneself

Last weekend I attended a session organised by our HR Department entitled 'Stress Management' at Holiday Villa, Subang. About the content, okay la... introducing us to the 7 chakras, more into the holistic and conventional healing, evoking our sub-conscious mind, some self reflections, some breathing and massage techniques, a bit of self meditation, bla bla bla...

I had attended a few Stress Management course throughout my career and each has its own uniqueness. The western gurus methods are of course a bit different than the asian gurus. For this particular session, what I remembered most is these three questions posted by the facilitator:

1. What good have you done to yourself?
2. What good have you done to your parents?
3. What good have you done to your brothers and sisters (siblings)?

Well, to be frank, I am satisfied with my answers (in my heart) for both questions 2 and 3, but definitely not for question 1. I still feel that I have not done enough for myself. I am more concern for the happiness of others. Just like a candle, burning oneself to brighten others. But, I have no regrets. To me, its part of the responsibilities, especially being the eldest, and as the breadwinner. Nevertheless, there are times...of course! And, as a result, after the session was over, I went to pamper myself at the Subang Parade, had my manicure and pedicure! Thought of going for some hair treatment after that, but had to rush home since one of my aunties invited us for a 'Nasi Dagang' gathering that nite.

Destressing oneself, in my opinion, is very subjective. To me, reading a good book with nice background songs is a bliss. Baking is also one way of destressing myself. Watching a good show is one too. Travelling or sight seeing is another one that I truly enjoyed. One thing I know for sure is that I am one person who really believe in myself and dare to take new challenges with confident, without a single doubt. I have learnt to depend on me, myself, long time ago. This is the attitude that I shaped in me to be what I am now. It was hard actually, damned hard. But, I survived. I stick to believe in me. I learnt to accept things and learnt to switch-off things that I could not accept, without feeling guilty whatsoever. Life is indeed stressful, but I have learned to take it in stride and walk talk, come what may... Not matter what people want to take from me, they just can't take away my dignity. Because I believe strongly in myself! Just like Whitney Houston's 'Greatest Love of All' eh? :)

Well, back at the office today, to some maybe, with a new perspective. A new way forward of taking matters in hand, to avoid stress... hmmm... to me... just be myself, stick to my beliefs and principles and continue as me...

The two-day session was indeed a great escapism from work and a chance to show my true colours and to mingle with my colleagues, in an informal situation. It was good. You had a chance to get to know people whom previously you smiled merely a second when you met at the corridor. Well, well, some people are not as how we perceived they were. And of course there will be someone who had touched your heart once you get to know them in a situation like this. I found one that I enjoyed talking to, with the same wavelength, worn the same thinking caps and enjoyed the same food. Thanks for being here friend and for the opportunity to get to know you better... Also, for introducing me to someone inspirational...appreciate it very much.

Kalambicara quits bicara now... to destress myself!

Sheer Laziness!

I have things to write. Aplenty. Of what happened today and a few days ago. But, am so lazy to hit the keyboard. Seriously. Am I tired? Not really. But, my mind is running wild. So many things at every nook of my head... I am actually wandering... my mind is moving about without a fixed course, aim or goal!! I am on a winding road! This is really crazy. All the 5Ws and 1H are creating a puzzle in my head. I don't like it when I am like this. Gosh, truly am lazy to use my brain, to recall events today and a few days ago, etc. That is actually the target when I on the notebook just now, yet my mind is wandering...

Thats it. Yes, thats it for today. Fullstop.

Ooo...oopss... all of a sudden, this brownies/camping song is playing in my head and making me hitting this keyboard now...

I love to go a wandering
Along the mountain track
And as I go, I love to sing
My knapsack on my back

Valderi Valdera Valdera
Valdera ha ha ha ha
Valderi Valdera
My knapsack on my back.

Oh may I go a wandering
Until the day I die
Oh may I always laugh and sing
Beneath God's clear blue sky.

Hmmm...

Kalambicara is signing off to wander more... no bicara, merely becoming a wanderer!

Office Raya Do

Despite my tiredness today, my mind is still active. Thus, the urge to write tonite.

Today my office organised a grand Raya Do... Raya Open House Celebration. The event began at 4.30 pm till 7.30 pm. Our first guest of honour that arrived before 5.00 pm was Dato' Kong Cho Ha, the Deputy Minister of MOSTI. Then we had the KSU, Dato' Hannan Alang Endut, Dato' Mohamed Awang Lah and a few others. Our invited VVIP, Dato' Seri Dr. Jamaluddin Jarjis, the Minister of MOSTI arrived at about 6.30 pm.

As the Corporate Communications Consultant, I was very happy when important guests that we invited really did turned up, some, to our surprise, beyond our expectation. Also, another thing that made me grin till the ears was the media attendance. I was glad that there were reps from Utusan, NST and Harian Metro. Had the opportunity to discuss a few matters with them and planned for some media coverage and publicity for the organisation. My CEO too had wonderful ideas which he voiced to the media reps and both parties are looking forward to a win-win situation.

Btw, earlier today we had two events, the first one held in the morning was a knowledge sharing session and the other one held at 2.00 pm was the launching of a roadshow for one of the services that we are offering. Tech n U of NST covered the second event which ended at about 4.30 pm, just as the Open House Celebration started.

As I mentioned in my blog yesterday that I will be busy today. True enough. Since preparing the media kit last nite until after the three events over today, I was so tight down. I did not manage to even taste most of the food at the Open House Celebration. Only ate three kind of dishes, the nasi tomato, laksam and satay. And, to finish each one, I had to pause and leave my food a few times. Why? Because I was wanted elsewhere, meeting guests who were looking for me, entertaining the media, arrival of VIPs and VVIPs, arrival of guest artist, some problem with the caterer, arrival of invited students from two schools, be on the lookout for the winners of best dressed staff, getting waiters to serve VIP table, this and that.

That is why normally during events, I seldom have the opportunity to really enjoy the food. No matter how sinfully tasteful it was. There will be disruptions. Might as well I waited till the event is over, then only I can enjoy the food. But for this Raya Do, the caterer was clearing the food so fast that by the time I came back to the hall after seeing the Minister off, there was no more food left! Was quite frustrated. Definitely will not take this caterer again. They got no PR at all. At least checked with me, the organiser, before packing everything. Huh, that is also the reason why I prefer the caterer that we knew and had good experience with. Nevertheless, this is really a lesson learnt, especially to my boss who recommended this caterer in the last minute. Never mind boss, now we know. There'll be no next time for this caterer.

Apart from entertaining and mingling around with the guests at all the events today, I was floating in the air. Some things had happened and did touch my heart. I'm scared. Yet, I am happy (am I really?!) I donno. And why is it happening to me, now? Only Allah SWT knows. I will leave everything to Allah SWT. One thing I know for sure is that there is always a reason for everything. I do believe in that. Well, que sera sera..., what ever will be, will be...the future's not ours to see...que sera sera!

Kalambicara feels so sleepy now...got to go, can't affort to continue bicara anymore!

Happenings

Well, so many things has happened for the past few days. Actually so many stories to write. Many sentences are formed in my head, crystal clear, just don't have the time to write. I know thats not a good excuse, but what to do...thats the real fact.

Last Sunday, I went to Istana Budaya to watch P Ramlee The Musical. It was interesting and entertaining. Really salute the performers. They were all so great and acted wonderfully, especially Liza Hanim and Melissa Saila. Also had a chance to take pictures with the main cast, Liza Hanim, Atilia, Melissa Saila, Siti Nurhaliza and Sean Ghazi. Also managed to snap some with Mukhsin, Yasmin Ahmad and Zahim Albakri. Earlier saw a few other artists such as AC Mizal and his wife, Emilia Rosnaida and also Adlin Aman Ramli.

Well, I thought thats enough of meeting artists until months to come. I was wrong. Today I accompanied my CTO for live interview in TV3's women's talk show, Wanita Hari Ini. While she was on air, I was in the waiting room together with Rosyam Noor, Arash and Watie Elite. They were waiting to go on air as well to promote their new Samarinda entitled Iris which begins tonite. They were all so nice and friendly. We talked about safety internet usage (the services of our organisation), especially among kids (Rosyam shared some of his experience with his children), then exchange cards and took some pictures together. Fuh, within three days, so many artists came into my life... he he... Never thought that they are all so humble and very polite.

To be frank, I was actually fear of going to TV3. Not fear as in so scared of the lion or the sort, but fear of meeting old friends and old love! Thank God that many of those that had been in my life before, in one way or another, were on the other wing of the building. Was really glad. Actually not that I do not want to meet them, but just that I do not like to be hypocrites or pretentious. Come on, we have not been keeping in touch for so long...and a few matters are not fully resolved, so let the rubbish be under the carpet lah! I am not going to be the one who will sweep it clean. Hey, its not me who swept the rubbish under the carpet in the first place ok? (No further questions on these. Fullstop.)

Another incident that really touched my heart was the death of our Angkasawan's brother. I feel so sad for the charming gutsy brilliant Sheikh Muzaphar for the demise of his beloved brother. Truly I can imagine the sorrow, the pain and the agony the family are experiencing. Instead of joy and laughter on the successful mission of the Angkasawan, they got to continue with the mourning. A great pity, truly. Only Allah SWT knows the reason to all happenings. Nothing can beat the Almighty...Qun Fayakun Qun! Alfatihah to the late Sheikh Mustafa.

Today, early morning, at 3.00 am, I received another addition to my family. My sister-in-law just gave birth to a baby boy, a third one for her. This makes my mum now a Tok Ma to six grandchildren, 3 boys and 3 girls. Poor mum wanted so much to visit them in Kemaman but we are all so busy to drive her down. (My mum has never taken a ride on a public transport except plane!) I was so tight with the TV3 appearance of our CTO and the Seminar and company Raya Open House tomorrow. This weekend I had to attend a Stress Management course organised by HR at one of the hotels in Subang Jaya, so it'll be like a fortnight later, only then we can go. Sorry mum... sabar le... after all, everybody is now safe and healthy.

I have lots of pics to put in the blog but had no time to upload them yet. So will write first and update with pics later on. You may look at them some other time ok? Sorry about that. Guess I got to sign off now, tomorrow is a big day. Media people will be around for the launching of the roadshow tomorrow, got to entertain them. Also got to look at the overall preparation and coordination of our corporate Raya Open House... phew! thinking about the two events really made my adrenalin rushing like rapids.

Kalambicara got to rush now... will bicara again tomorrow...ciao!

Flashback #3 - 1 Syawal 1428 Hijrah

Its the 1st day of Syawal. Its Raya today.

My feelings.... its a mixed one... Am happy that we gonna have lots of family gatherings and lots and lots of festive food. But, also sad... leaving the wonderful month of Ramadhan - the month that really made me 'muhasabah diri' and lots of 'keinsafan'. (he he macam poyo je bunyi kan?) But, thats the fact la. Though I am the 'gila-gila' type but I always examine myself, looking at my self performance towards other living things, especially human!

Though I slept almost early morning, but still I woke up early for the special day. Had my 'mandi sunat hari raya fitrah', put on my best dress and ready for the Solat Raya at the mosque... nevertheless, had a slight misunderstanding with one of my two brothers and did not go to the mosque! There goes my 1st Syawal prayer... quite sad, but...hmmm don't wanna make the matter worst since he came here only 4-5 times a year, so bear with his behaviour! Malas le nak gaduh di pagi raya niiii.....! Nanti nak maaf-maaf pulak, macam tak real!

I then went straight to the kitchen to prepare the chocolate topping for my Arabian Chocolate Cake. While in the middle of doing so, those that went for the prayer came back. Everybody sibuk nak beraya... takut nanti orang datang tak sempat. So we started the usual raya rituals, asking for forgiveness from my mom. As the eldest I had to start. As usual too, this is always the most touching moment and what Raya really means. Definitely lots of kisses, tears shed free flow la... and nieces and nephews started to be curious and the chaos decellerate... Then of course there'll be someone who will break the ice and started to make silly jokes merely to bring us back to reality and not to be too emotional...he he...

For us this time. it was my niece, Nor Naily Aishah, the main ice breaker. She was throwing tantrum the time we were distributing the 'duit raya'. Know why? She wanted to put the green packets in a pocket like what her brother did, putting all them in the pocket of his baju melayu. Of course the baju melayu got three pockets, but hers is the modern baju kurung, with lining and all, where got pocket ma? So, of course this little cutie started to cry and almost tearing her nice baju kurung. At last, she just threw all the green packets that we gave her. Refused to hold them, though her mum had prepared her a nice pink girlish handbag full of sequins! She wanted a baju melayu! Kids will be kids. Anyway, some of us still continue with the 'forgiveness seeking session'... he he

Our first guest was my auntie with her children and grandchild. Then an old friend of mine that I mentioned in my earlier postings entitled Old School Friends. Well, he and his family came. I was so surprised to see him, now almost 'botak'! He was the Assistant Head Prefect and we had not met for the last 28 years! Imagine. It was indeed a meaningful Raya for me. Then many of my ex-classmates during secondary school who are now residing in KL came. All are actually my Chinese friends. Well, we only had five Malays in my class, and out of that only two Malay girls, including me. So, of course most of my friends are Chinese. We had a jolly good time, talking none stop. Everybody wants to speak. Everybody wants to reminince the good old schooling days. Such a jolly good time. My neighbours came too, also Chinese... Most of my Malay neighbours had gone out of town anyway. By evening, we almost collapsed. Had a short rest and after the Maghrib prayer, we went to my auntie's house in Putra Height.

End of my day 1 of Syawal 1428.

To all the ardent readers of my blog, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri 1428 Hijrah. Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Kalambicara signing off from bicara...till then...

Flashback #2 - Final Raya Preparation

I know, I know... this title is almost out of date now. But, come on, I was so busy with the final preparation and the Raya do that I manage to find time only today, to flashback on what happened then. Seriously there was hardly any time for me to sit and write cos' by the time I wanted to do so, its always long past midnite and I could easily doze off with just a blink! Anyway, while reading this, just imagine yourself watching a movie with flashback stories, ok? mua ha ha ha ha.....

Esok Hari Raya! Esok Hari Raya! ... the excitement is in the air… and as usual beginning dawn, past dusk till way past midnight, I was busy in the kitchen. While my mum and my sister were busy with the ketupat, I was busy with baking cakes. Btw our ketupat is the Kelantanese style i.e glutinous rice with coconut milk and sugar and wrap using ‘daun palas’. My mum made three versions, one portion plain without sugar, one with sugar and ‘black-eye pea’ (not the rap group!) or we called it ‘kace cetok’ in Kelantanese and the other one is also sweet with fillings of ‘serunding daging’. They are delicious and high calories! But, very famous among my mum’s siblings and close relatives because everybody said my mum’s ‘ketupat pulut’ is on par with the one made by her late mother.

I started baking at about 11.00 am, beginning with the Arabian Chocolate Cake (with cocoa, dates and coffee), Fruit Cake (I normally baked this much earlier but due to time constraint this year, its just a day before Raya) and some cupcakes (about 63 pieces). In between waiting for the cakes to be taken out of the oven, I assisted mum later with all the ‘lauk pauk’ for the ‘nasi hujan panas’ that she’s going to prepare as the main Raya dish. Helped her make ‘ayam masak merah’, ‘kerutup daging’, ‘kuah dalca with tripes and beef, ‘sambal lada’ and ‘acar mentah’. We also made 'nasi impit' and 'kuah kacang'.

I also helped my mum to prepare food for the final break fast for this year’s Ramadhan. A simpe one simply because we were busy with the big day preparation. Am happy for the Eid Mubarak tomorrow, but also sad to leave Ramadhan and the Tarawikh prayers. Hmmm… will I be alive to experience next Ramadhan? Insyaallah. Btw, my other sisters were busy spring cleaning the house, rearranging the furnitures and putting the cookies and snacks in collective cookie jars. All of us hardly watch the various interesting tv programmes

Btw, remember the sofa set that I sent for upholstery? Well, they were not ready on time. So the shop owner sent us another sofa set on loan for the time being and of course with loads of apologies for not fulfilling her promise to deliver before Raya. I was quite upset, but since the sofa that she sent for us to use temporarily were quite nice and elegance looking, we kind of okayed with the situation. No hot steam shed, only cool vapour… A win-win situation, I guess, in a way.

The fruits of my labour!

I finished with the butter frosting/toppings for the cupcakes at about 3.00 am. My whole body was so sore that I had difficulty to fall asleep. I was tossing left and right to get a good position but the body was aching at all angles. Guess it must have taken me hours before I dozed off. But, after all the tiredness, I am happy and satisfied with my bakings and helping my mum in the kitchen. All these are like an annual routine for my family.

Another batch. Phew...quite a tedious job la!

The final preparation for the recent Hari Raya was indeed a tiring one but full of love and joy. Everything were made with love blooming in the air. Its really the joyous moments., especially when family gathered together, nieces and nephews screaming here and there and the tv was mainly tuned to cartoon channel! We look forward to Hari Raya the next day with full of anticipation and happiness, though there were moments when we missed our beloved father...

Kalambicara needs a good rest, for tomorrow is a big day. Am quiting bicara now...

Flashback #1 - My Birthday

Birthday wrapper from Chique.

11 October. Thats the day. My birthday. Many many moons ago! I said many many moons ago, so stop wondering about my age!

Was too busy with the celebration and also preparation for Raya that I did not have time to post this earlier. Anyway, this year my birthday falls during the fasting month of Ramadhan. Just 2 days before Syawal. We (my mum, my three sisters, my brother and his wife and myself - 7 of us) went to the Palace of the Golden Horses (POGH) in Mines Sri Kembangan for the celebration. My youngest sister, Adik, a dental student, was the happiest one. She really knows how to enjoy food and truly step-up to the food feast.

Buffet Spread at The Carousal, POGH

My mum was happy too. She is actually the best Cook in the world. So if we were to spend RM70-80 for one person's meal, to her is a big waste. She will say, "Give it all to me and I can cook much better food!" But mum, the ambience at the hotel and at home is different. That is how at last we managed to coax her to break fast at POGH. True enough, she enjoyed the ambience, the big vases available at the lobby area and apart from eating the varieties of food, she was the one who posed a lot for the pictures, especially near vases, for memories she said. Mum, mum...

Main lobby of the Palace of the Golden Horses

I'm blessed that this year I managed to bring my beloved family members to a hotel for my birthday celebration. Am very thankful to Allah swt for all that has been provided to me this wonderful year and may the coming years be more prosperous and a much healthier me. Amin! Many thanks also to Sharul Ismanizam, the Sales Manager of POGH and Sharmila, my colleague at work, for this wonderful arrangement.

O' oh... forgot to mention the birthday gifts that I received. Well, I got two replicas of a tiger. One a tiger (a cubby actually) tabletop utility holder and the other a cute tiger mug, from my sisters Ajey and Achik and a rechargeable tooth brush (which I have been eyeing for quite some time) from my future dentist sister, Adik. Not to forget, a tortoise (or is it turtle?) handphone stand from Yati, my colleague at work. Well, you may wonder why tiger and why the tortoise? Actually they are my two favourite animals. Tiger because I was born in the year of the tiger according to the Chinese Horoscope, my likings for tiger, the endangered species and also because I am fierce like the tiger (thats what my siblings said!) Tortoise and/or turtle are pets. I have been rearing them for the past four years and some have been sent back to their habitat. Ok, enough about the gifts. Its the thought that counts most anyway.

A print-out wishes and the rechargeable toothbrush from Adique.

The cute tiger cubs replicas from Ajey and Achique, at work.

The soft handphone stand from Yati.

Talking about birthdays, it has always been my tradition that I will take leave on THE day. Reason: I do not like birthday surprises at work. I will get embarassed easily. Also, people will start asking my age and when I responded, they will said, "Really?!" What? Can't I be gila-gila at this very ripe age, eh? I am forever young at heart and possesses an active mind and soul like a teenager. My eagerness to try everything in this world never cease. I love jungle trekking and had tracked almost all jungle routes in Frazer's Hill and Cameron Highlands. I've gone white water rafting as far as Sg. Pedas near the Tenom Valley in Beaufort, Sabah. I've gone cave escavation in Batu Caves when I was a member of the Malaysian Nature Society (MNS). Well, at this age, still healthily alive and kicking, I am proud to say that I am truly satisfied with all God giving things. Syukur Alhamdulillah.

Apart from all that, I have family members who love and care for me, their Kak Long, all the time...yo ko caye Ayong? he he Alhamdulillah, I am really blessed and thankful that I still live to enjoy this XX birthday surrounded by people whom I love and care dearly. Thanks a lot dearest Ma and Ba' (my late father) for bringing me to this world. Though words did not say much when face-to-face, but deep inside me, I love you all very much... Don't know what my life will be without you, my beloved parents and my siblings. Muaaahhhhhsssss!!! And Al-Fatihah to my late father. Amin.

Kalambicara is so touched and close to tears...

...thus, has to stop bicara now.

Shopping Spree!

My Raya holidays starts today till next Tuesday, 16 October. My mission today is shopping till I drop! Not for me, eh… for my nieces and nephews laaa. Also some final grocery list that my mum had prepared long before I wake up this morning!

Target for mission: Sunway Pyramid. Arrived there at around 11.00 am. Not many people. Great. Partly because it’s a working day or some have gone out of town aka ‘balik kampung’, maybe.

Its been quite some time since I last shop for children’s clothing. My o’ my, so many brands available and all at reasonable prices. Mostly are soooooo cute! Be it boys’ clothings or little girls’ dresses. I was almost gone bonkers, wanting to pick almost everything into my shopping basket…

How can one little girl not growing up to be so `gedik’ a teenager if as toddlers their ‘baju’ are already so fancy, fashionable, in-trend, so girlish, so huggable, you just want to dress them up like playing dolls! Honestly, I can’t resist the temptation to purchase not one each but In the range of 2-3 pairs for each.

See beloved nieces and nephews, you are damned lucky to have me as your Ayong. Of course I know, the big grin will be their parents, I was actually helping them to save! And me ended, the bid spender!

From Sunway Pyramid, I went to Giant Bandar Puteri Puchong for my next mission. Remember? The grocery list from my mum… nak kena ler kalau tak beli. And, my little red Piccanto was packed with shopping bags that you can’t even see the back seat!

Well, in any shopping spree, I realized that I normally go off-course, meaning buying things that were earlier not in the plan. For example today, I can’t recall how it happened but I ended up buying myself a pair of stilettos, a few sets of beautiful serving dish for the dining table and a new set of hand mixer! All those are in need anyway…he he … am happy though. Thanks to my sister, Chik, a QS student on holiday, who accompanied me and not only be my butler aka porter but also willingly be my chauffeur for the day.

After all the spree today… kalambicara really needs a good rest from bicara!

Baking eh?

With full of zest, I started my day today planning to bake some Chocolate Chip Cookies for Raya. I have a few versions of the recipes and never did the same recipe twice. I am the type who likes to try new recipes and amend accordingly. Since I bought the Hershey's Milk Chocolate Chips, I thought of trying the recipes available at the packaging. But, in the process, I realized the dough was so soft... something is wrong somewhere. With a bit of frustration, I, as usual, had to make my own adjustments to the dough. See, when you have been baking often, you will know the texture of the dough whether its gonna turn out well or not. As alternative to flour, I blended some oats into powdery form and added to the dough until I could feel the right texture. Tried baking the first tray. It turned out well. Looks and smells good, just like the free smell from the great Famous Amos cookies. Asked my youngest sister who was not fasting to taste, and she ended up finishing almost a whole tray to herself while watching television. From there I knew the answer. And am satisfied with myself.

My Chocolate Chip Cookies

Baking has always been my passion. But due to my tight schedule (plus laziness at times!), I seldom embark into it. With the advent of the internet, I can get various recipes. Last three weeks I tried the Apple and Walnut Cake. (Just because we had so many apples uneaten in the refrigerator). Everybody likes it so much that I baked one each week for three consecutive weeks. Everybody in the house also know that when I started to bake, then I'm okay. But, if I spent time gazing at the ceiling in my bedroom, then something is not right. So obvious laaa....right?! (Jibeng pun tahu...!) Now they are pestering me to make pumpkin pie with vanilla icecream. I've done that before and it was so sinfully tasteful. Definitely not going to do it for Raya. Thats for special family occasion.

Somehow or rather, I do feel that some people do not sincerely post their recipes correctly. Many times, when trying new recipes, I have to adjust accordingly. I normally encontered with disaster if I followed strictly to the recipes given. Theres always a bit of adjustment to be done. I learnt my lesson well. Guess, that might be some of their ways to protect their IPR! (Intellectual Property Rights - betul tak Wadi? he he).

I planned to bake three more types of cookies for Raya and a few cakes and some cupcakes with icing toppings but am not sure whether I have time or not. Had bought all the ingredients for baking and had identified what to bake, just a matter of doing it. Work is still aplenty at the office that I dare not take leave too long before Raya, though I still have a few more days before my contract as the Consultant ends in January. Que Sera Sera!

Enough bicara, got to go to bed (and start gazing at the ceiling!) for tomorrow is a working day.

Kalambicara stops bicara now. zzzzzzzzz...

Old School Friends

Yesterday, at work, all of a sudden, out of the blues, I received a call from a friend whom I have not seen for the last 28 years! (I know, I know... you must be guessing my age now!) Last was when we were together in the same school and he was the Assistant Head Prefect. Well, I am not the type who will easily pick up calls from unknown numbers at my mobile, but somehow or rather, I had the intuition to just answered the call. He was addressing me by the name that I was called then, and speaking in fluent Kelantanese dialect. And, hes a Chinese guy! Nevertheless, you know your friend and with just a few words uttered, I could easily guess who he is. I was smiling and widely grinning from ear-to-ear. To make the story short, he will be coming to KL next week with his family and will be meeting me on Raya eve. Seronoknya!

How he got my number, eh? Well, two weeks earlier, also a freind whom we have not met for 28 years as well, came to KL (from Tawau where he now resides) and a few of us met for 'buka puasa' at Holiday Villa, Subang, with assistance from another friend, of course. With this particluar guy, though we have not met for so long, we did emailing each other, just not met face-to-face until that 'buka puasa' day. He was the Head Prefect then and the surprise call was from his assistant from schooling days! Words get around via the net and the friend of mine got my number. This borderless world that we are living now really make me excited. Thank God that I am still alive to experience all these internet thingy!

Talking about friends, do you realize that in our life we encountered with many groups of friends... As for me. I gathered friends from various stages of my life. Primary school friends, secondary school friends (some from primary left to go to boarding schools) where we were joined by friends from remove classes (chinese or tamil schools), then form six friends, then university friends (coursemates/hostelmates/association mates) and then office mates. The more places you worked, the more friends you g0t... and the list will go on... But, somehow or rather, whether we realized it or not, we do not keep in touch with all, right? Some are so near, yet so far. And some, distant makes heart grows fonder! Betul tak? We tend to be selective. We keep in contact only those that leaves a mark in our heart, a footprint in our soul.

To me, friends from the schooling days are the most sincere ones. We were so innocent and naive. We spoke our minds like nobody's business. We argued worst than cats and dogs. We really fought like great enemies. We competed in everything as though the winner will be the King of the country. Then after all that, we made amends and we hugged and kissed like lovers. We truly forgive and forget like the wound without scar. And the funniest thing is we did it over and over again, so many times, laughed and cried, kicked and kissed and so on....until we left school. That is why those friends are the lasting friends. I believe in that so much.

Friends in campus or friends at work, all have hidden agendas that only God knows. Why? Because the situation demands us so. In universities, we hungered for good grades. Thus, there were friends who would not share study materials with you for fear that you will get better grades. There are also friends who did their assignment to the last minute, merely to get ideas from other friends' assignments first... and later got higher grades, etc. At work, there are friends who stabbed you from your back, backmouthing you to your superior or other colleagues, affecting your year-end appraisal and so on... These my friends, do happen. So, my advice, be cautious... at this stage of life, its really difficult to identify a friend or a foe. Believe me, it is not easy to find needles in the haystack! Just be smart. Most importantly, be yourself, do your best and then leave everything to God the Almighty.

That is why, I truly cherish my old school friends.

Enough bicara, kalambicara must stop bicara now! Till then...

Choices and Decisions

Throughout our life, we are exposed to making choices, having options and making decisions. From toddler to adolescent to mature adult, most of the things we encountered are about making decisions based on choices and options available. I remembered as a young child, I was given options by my father to choose either a strawberry flavoured lollipop, a chocolate flavoured one, or plain vanilla flavour. And, when I took a long time to decide, I was scolded. Man, its not easy to decide, even a young child knows that, and that is the reason why they wanted all flavours, lick a little of the strawberry flavour, two licks of the chocolate flavour and a bit of the vanilla flavour. After tasting all, thats the end. "I don't want it anymore, mama!" Sounds familiar, eh?

Well, as a mature adult now... today I was given the task to make a decision. It was nothing major, actually. I took leave today simply to hunt for a nice contemporary tv cabinet and to choose fabric for the upholstery of our sofa. Yes, raya is just around the corner. We (my beloved brother and his beloved wife) went to a few shops., compared the prices and alas found one shop which is very much reasonable. For the sofa, we managed to get the same fabric from the previous shop (same fabric brand -Elyza) and the transportation is only RM60 as compared to the earlier shop which charges RM160. But boy.... the time we spent to decide... flowers or stripes or checkered or plain... then type of cloth... etc. When we decided to go for flowers, other options asked by the shopowner, English Rose? Staton Rose? Pure Rose? Country Rose? Wild Rose?.... my oh my... we were almost insane with the designs. Nevertheless, after almost the whole afternoon spent in weighing all the options, we consensusly agreed to go for Country Rose and plain maroon scattered cushions were given free.

Country Rose, sofa fabric design by Elyza...the chosen one.

Phew! At last. ... and there goes my one day leave today... and still without mission totally accomplished. We did not have time to check on the tv cabinet! hmmm.... got to wait till the weekend ...

Kalambicara opts to quit bicara for today... see ya!

The First One

At last I am doing it, creating my own blog! Been wanting to do it for so long but keep procrastinating. One fine day, another fine day, until today...least that I planned. Not even changed my office attire to home dress yet. True then what many said, don't plan, just do it when you have the urge to do. Do not wait till you have finished certain tasks or wait for a good day, good mood, good weather, whatsoever. So here I am... and am feeling contented that I actually am doing it, now. Bravo to myself.

My first posting, I'm gonna touch a bit on principles. I am always known to be someone who really stood tall for what I believe in, also my principles. I was known by many who knew me, as the Lady of Principle, Lady of Substance, Full of Preseverance etc (Juaina, I know you must be laughing reading this!) Its happening again today when one of my principles been evoked. Yes, right. I'm been informed to do something that I knew all along had to be done and had even voiced it out. And now, I was asked to do that simple task. Hellloooooo!!! Gosh! I was screaming inside. When the words was said to my face, inside me was humming..."na nanana na, na nanana na"! Don't ask me what, not going to detail it out, but basically I was pissed off at work today! Period.

Enough of my first posting.

Till the next one,.. Kalambicara temporarily quits bicara!